The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
