We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need to sanitize my soul.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
