what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
