yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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