Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize