oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
