i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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