I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
