she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My dad is sitting where you rode me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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