He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
