Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
