in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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