It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
