I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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