Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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