Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My ATM looks so different sober.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I supernannyed him into submission
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
