o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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