Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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