Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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