i think i have herpe
just one?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
