Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
