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Capitaan dildo arrescate!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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