Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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