I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
