I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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