This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
