Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
