no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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