How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I didn't notice because vodka
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
