please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
