idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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