When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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