This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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