This house was built for laser tag.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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