I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
