also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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