I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
