i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
