hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
