We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
