No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
