so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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