I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sober January is a disaster.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
