yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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