you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
