I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
