We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
