Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
