i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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