Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
