he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
