the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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