no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
