I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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