PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
