Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my poor anus
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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