I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
