I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
