so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize