Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
where are my eyebrows?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
